bam bam goes outside
14 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Experiments, the happy
I couldn’t resist sharing this with you. Bam Bam and his pride were freed from their itty bitty Bolivian circus cage and made themselves at home in the Wild Animal Sanctuary here in Colorado for the very first time this morning. A joyful pride, I would say. Here’s a picture of Bam Bam. I think he’s grinning. Don’t you?
even more things that bug me
13 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
This is a blog about the happy. Finding it, seeing it, believing in it. But there are definitely a lot of things in this world that don’t really make me feel that happy. And anyone who knows me knows that when something bugs me I have a pretty friggin’ hard time keeping my mouth shut about it. So, sorry. But this morning I’m going to tell you some (more) of them.
1. When celebrities whine about their lack of privacy. Case in point. Seriously, Reese Witherspoon? You are mourning your tragic loss of privacy? You cry over it? Tell you what. You can give me the $15 million you made in 2010 and I will let your fans follow me around instead. Puh-leeze.
2. The damsel in distress routine. You know the one I mean. The smart, beautiful, capable woman who suddenly becomes unable to find a parking spot or decide on a menu item without the help of the nearest handsome young bachelor. Really? Why do guys dig that? Yo no comprende.
3. Dudes who lie. I am so over the dog and pony show. The “I’m awesome and you’re awesome and I can’t wait for us to be awesome together!…until tomorrow when I’m never going to call you again” routine. Seriously. Are we 12? Schmuck city. You deserve to be eaten alive by tiny, hungry fire ants. Ok, no you don’t. But seriously, stop wasting my time.
4. Lazy parents. If you work in public ed, you know what I mean. This one is for you, teacher friends.
Thanks for reading. Love ya. YOU do not bug me. Not even a little bit.
make a million, save a life
12 Apr 2011 1 Comment
in Experiments
We all want to be rich, don’t we? I know I do. This guy had a great idea, is getting rich, and maybe even saving a life or two along the way. What good news for him indeed! And good news for any American Airlines passengers who plan on having a heart attack anytime soon. Thanks, smart guy!
Here’s another great story about Denver’s new project. The Police Department is training the cabbies in our great Rocky Mountain mecca to recognize crimes, gather evidence, and report them so the po-po can catch the bad guys. And it’s working. Normal people just doing their job, and now they’re helping our community be a safer place. Thanks, cabbies!
And now, a few of my favorite things. Because why not?
1. When my dog rests her chin on my knee.
2. Photo blogs. Specifically, pictures of newborn babies smiling. Don’t believe me? See here. (This is a photo by Kelli Nicole by the way. Does she have an eye, or what?)
If your heart doesn’t feel a bit warmer because of that photo, you might be dead inside. Seek help. Possibly from a homemade margarita?
3. Homemade margaritas. Limeade, Patron Silver and a splash of cointreau. With lime infused margarita salt, of course.
4. Waking up well rested and having 30 minutes to lay in bed with the windows open listening to the birds sing their morning song.
5. When my boss is at an off-site, day-long meeting. Is the air actually lighter, or is it just me?
6. Lists of awesome things.
Have a splendid day, happy readers.
oldies but goodies
11 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Experiments
My week of not reading any bad news is almost up. I have a few observations. First, I read CNN a lot. There are about a dozen times a day where I find myself wanting to go to that website. I take this as a sign of boredom, rather that world interest, because I do it mostly when I’m at work. It is reminding me that I never had such a clean apartment as when I was a full time grad student. Laundry? Fun! Dishes? Let’s do ‘em! Anything to keep me from doing homework. So is that why I read the news? To procrastinate at work? Le sigh.
Second, a lot of good news is still somehow tied to bad news. Progress has been made! (On the horrible case of the newly-wedder who was shot in the head in front of his wife while they were jetskiing on a lake in Texas.) Well, shoot. I was happy about the progress until I remembered the bullet to the brain. Le sigh again.
And lastly, I really do much prefer reading the good, happy, silly news than I do the depressing, dramatic, end of the world type news. So I am going to continue this little experiment for a full month. The kind of news I will read is local news (as long as it is not about the aforementioned atrocities); political news (not the coup, genocide, discrimination kind, but the budgetary, mayoral race, planned parenthood kind); and my new favorite, happy news.
Today’s good news is about the life expectancy rate. It’s at an all time high! The author couldn’t resist peppering the story with a few bits of sombering information, such as a widening racial gap and an increase in suicides, BUT that’s neither here nor there. I’m just excited that the babies who were born in 2009 have the highest American life expectancy to date. Go babies!
raft the ocean blue
08 Apr 2011 1 Comment
in Experiments
Here is your good news story for this foggy, but fine, Friday morning. This is about a man who is 85 years old and decided to live out his life long dream of sailing the ocean blue. Or rather, rafting the ocean blue. I like it for three reasons: one, it proves you are never, ever, ever too old to do something you’ve always wanted to do; two, when he ran out of store-bought bread he cooked up some more, from scratch, in the oven on board (ya know, no biggie); and three, he actually turned 85 in the middle of the ocean. With his friends. With a chocolate cake they made on the boat. Daaang, Buster Brown. You is cool.
This makes me want to go do something fun and adventurous. How about you?
let there never be a lack of awesomeness
07 Apr 2011 1 Comment
Are you needing a reminder of all the awesome things in this world?
1,000 Awesome Things. There ya go.
And here are 7 Wonders of the Everyday World as reported by Readers Digest, taken from the above website.
1. Wearing underwear just out of the dryer.
2. When cashiers open up a new checkout lane at the grocery store.
3. Intergenerational dancing. (I love this one.)
4. Paying with exact change.
5. Fixing electronics by smacking them.
6. High-fiving babies.
7. The other side of the pillow.
no news is
06 Apr 2011 1 Comment
I’m doing an experiment. I like experiments. I read and watch the news a couple times a day. Read, mostly. Online. And I’ve noticed that so many articles these days are about death and dying and suffering and killing and dying…did I mention the dying? It’s about people doing horrible things to themselves and each other that cause such a depth of horror and suffering that their lives will never be the same. It’s about disparity in the human condition, the resources we have and the quality of the world we live in. I’m saddened, I’m disgusted, I have all the right emotional reactions to the horrible things I’m reading.
Now I’m going to play the Devil’s advocate. Bad things have been happening since…well, the beginning. Whenever that beginning was. People have been killing each other, killing themselves, stealing, lying, raping, suffering, etc. since the conscious man was born. But the media sure does a fine job of making us think this is the first time or the worst time or the most times this has happened in so short a period of time time that this particular event has taken place. I don’t believe this is the first, or the last, time these things will happen in our world. And does it really do any good to make the rest of the world feel shitty about the really bad thing that happened to someone on the other side of the world? Maybe. But does it do any good to make us all feel shitty over every single bad thing that’s happening to every single good person all over the planet? My jury is out on that one.
I want to be educated, I want to be informed, and if I can take action or support a worthy cause I want to be able to do that. But this bad, horrible, gory, gut-wrenching news day in and day out is just a little too much. Where’s the good news? Where’s the happy stories? Don’t we have anything to celebrate and be glad for? I know I do. I want to read the stories about people changing trends and beating the odds and making a difference. I want to feel like the world is full of beauty and wonder and gratitude.
So for one week I am not going to read anything about these terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things happening to and in our world, and instead I am going to look for one thing every day that I think is amazing. Good news, amazing feats, little people making big change. And I’ll share them with you. Because people, no news ain’t good news. Good news is good news.
Here you go, day one. A story about how being happy makes you healthier.
P.S. Turns out there are several websites that are dedicated just to the purpose of sharing good news. This is gonna be easy!
i now pronounce me
01 Apr 2011 2 Comments
in boys n' stuff, musings
I have a bad habit. (Yup, only one. I’m nearly perfect!)
I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. I always want to believe that I am being too harsh on them, that maybe they are capable of being the super awesome person I envision them to be, that I should give them another chance to prove it, that it must be my black and white thinking and not their propensity toward being an asshole that is causing the conflict.
This is good news for you because if you piss me off chances are I will not stay mad forever. There are but a small handful of people I choose to not communicate with and would (and do) ignore when they make attempts to contact me. I simply don’t want them in my life anymore. But believe me, it takes a lot to get there. More than you might think. I am forgiving and I don’t hold on to anger. Cause that’s dumb. Life is too short for that business.
This is bad news for me because I tend to give people too many chances, and inevitably beat myself up too much and wind up feeling a lot worse along the way. I am constantly falling all over myself to undo my wrongs and backpedal on the harsh things I’ve said to people, even when they were deserved. I am always thinking, “Oh, if I could only be more understanding of this person, I wouldn’t have gotten mad and I wouldn’t have said that and they wouldn’t be mad at me!”
But hold the phone. Why do I care if people are mad at me? Especially these people, these outcasts on my short list of significant assholistic moves and gestures and actions that have hurt me to the core of my little Beth heart. Sometimes people are mean and sometimes people do mean things and sometimes they deserve to be told that. And it ain’t my fault if they can’t stand the heat, ’cause they’re the ones that went in to the kitchen in the first place. Am I right?
So from this moment forward, by the power vested in me by the state of Colorado (it is a self-uniting state, you know), I now pronounce myself united with the idea that I am allowed to be mad at people who are mean to me. I am allowed to close doors, end friendships and refuse to communicate with people who are selfish, mean-spirited, and always seemingly forgetful of their own transgressions but could articulate in detail each one of mine. Because c’mon, peeps. Happiness is Beth Shaped and I intend to keep it that way.
today is…
28 Mar 2011 1 Comment
Today is…
…my mother’s birthday. She would have been 64. Happy birthday, Mama. It is the least painful of all the birthdays, mother’s days, holidays, anniversaries so far. I actually feel happy thinking about her. But I can’t look at her picture too long…I feel the pain a’creepin’.
…the day one of our employees has threatened to come and kill everyone who works in my office. I’m hunkered down. My door is closed and locked, my lights are off. I’m a little bit worried. It’s no laughing matter. What if he’s serious?
…the 9th day of spring. The 2nd of day of March snow. Ahh, Colorado.
…Benjamin Brian Toto’s 3rd day on this planet. Welcome, little one. You are very squishy and very loved.
…Monday. Ugh. Monday.
…26 days before I leave for Mexico. New hat! New bikini! New coverup! Let’s go!
…the 2nd day of my Jillian Michael’s workout. That lady is serious. You wanna feel pain? Give this a try.
…another day to try, play, think, feel, ask, ponder, enjoy, explore, and anticipate. And if I’m lucky, it won’t be my last.
more things that bug me
24 Mar 2011 3 Comments
One. When people say, “Supposebly.” Suppose…what? That’s not a WORD! Neither is expresso, irregardless, or “mute point.” C’mon people.
The fact that I have caught myself twice in the last week wanting to say “literally” about something that wasn’t literally true. For comedic effect. I’m a hypocrite! Oh, the agony! Thankfully no one was listening to me talk who reads my blog. Whew! Dodged that bullet.
That after one workout with Jillian Michaels my body looks exactly the same. I worked out for exactly 26 minutes. Where’s the results? I want my money back.
Pharmaceutical direct-to-consumer advertising. Do you know that one of the most popular medications in America is the “little purple pill?” Do you even know what that pill does? I don’t either. But their commercials have convinced a lot of Americans that they need to be on it. Let’s start at ground zero. Those commercials have convinced a lot of Americans they can diagnose themselves. If I were a doctor I’d have a hard time not messing with my patients by arbitrarily prescribing every drug they asked me about.
While we’re on the subject, who doesn’t love that long list of side effects on said commercials? This is a drug for your allergies, but it may cause headaches, sore throat, blindness, nausea, vomiting, kidney failure, heart palpitations, stroke, death, and in rare occasions actual relief from your symptoms. But really, you need this drug. Good thing I’m not your doctor or I just might give it to you.
And the last thing that bugs me, but certainly not the least, is when people don’t pick up their dog poop. It’s disgusting. They make cute little containers that clip right on the leash for dog owners like you and me, and biodegradable bags are a dime a dozen. Having a dog is a completely voluntary activity. I don’t want to look at your dog poop any more than you want to look at the bag of vomit I will leave on your front porch if you don’t start cleaning it up.
Love, Me
